Recently I heard a vowed Benedictine speak at a conference. She had more than 50 years of experience living in Benedictine community. You know the kind of person I'm talking about. She radiates hospitality, calm, listening, prayer, and contentment. Yet she stated openly, that in following the rule, she just "falls down and gets back up, and starts again."
Hearing her say this really helped me. Now I'm less discouraged when I stumble over my own efforts to develop a new practice, and find myself flat on my face.
Yet, while I'm lying on the ground, trying to figure out what happened, and how I can get up and begin again, I am still tempted to believe that I am the only one tripping over a new practice.... or a principle, or a value....
In community, we can appreciate and celebrate our successes, and our insights about the Benedictine life. And we can tell each other the truth when we're not so sure, or when we fall flat on our faces. As for the getting back up part?... In community we give each other a 'hand-up'. Sometimes a subtle new perspective on God's presence in our lives, can change everything.
Perhaps that is one reason that Benedict tells us to live in community. In those times when I am struggling not to live in a state of 'continual rushing,' it helps me to hear that someone else has struggled too. And they found some insights to make it a manageable struggle.
In community, we can appreciate and celebrate our successes, and our insights about the Benedictine life. And we can tell each other the truth when we're not so sure, or when we fall flat on our faces. As for the getting back up part?... In community we give each other a 'hand-up'. Sometimes a subtle new perspective on God's presence in our lives, can change everything.
I had another one of those subtle, yet life changing moments this weekend.
Thanks to two sentences from an Oblate friend of mine.
I was reminded that, "I am not the shepherd." "I am the sheep."
It is a simple, seemingly obvious observation about the Gospel reading.
Yet, that conscious shift in perspective makes all the difference.
So today I ask you, "What is your latest awareness of Benedictine insight?"
Or "What haven't you figured out yet?"
"Who provides community support for you in this?"
"Where do you find your community?"
Blessings,
Deanne
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Deanne
ReplyDeleteI think it's helpful for us to remember that vowed religious, even those living in a cloister, are human. We all struggle, and I've learned that the struggle doesn't cease for those in the monastery. That's the beauty of being a Benedictine, Benedict knows it, his Rule is down to earth and can be lived by anyone. Don't worry when you fail, simply view it as another sign to pray for grace to pick yourself up.
My latest Benedictine insight is from today's reading of the Rule. Benedict would not agree with Augustine's famous prayer, "Lord, please save me from my sins. But not just yet." He conveys a sense of urgency in making necessary changes to open ourselves to God's will, his love and grace.
Keep up the good work.
One of the main things that drew me to Benedictine spirituality is that it seemed to stress striving rather than perfection. I know I will never be perfect. But I can strive to be better. On days when I feel that I have totally fallen down on a spiritual practice I try to identify other areas of my life that I have changed, even if the change is very small. This encourages me to keep going when I hit a difficult period. I think it is human nature to dwell on our faults. Our gracious God is more generous, forgiving us when we fall and patiently allowing us to get up and try again (and again, and again).
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